Saturday, September 20, 2008

A knife and A Head to cut

I believe everyone goes to have a haircut. Even i do...when i wake up in the morning and look into the mirror and find myself all shabby....kinda realize that Yea! i need to get a hair cut! But this day was different..The football tournament was coming up and i needed a football hairdo...hehe...something which people can notice while i play...So i went in the evening to the barber shop close to my was raining heavily....i had a hard time in reaching there coz i don have an umbrella....the name of the barber shop was....GOOD LUCK....wonder why?....I reached there and saw the barber working on someone, so he told me to wait....I found myself a small place and sat...with magazines on the table....Semi porn, Movie magazines , sports, news.....these were my choices to select from....I took the news magazine coz i was outta touch of what was happening in the world....i kept hearing about investment firms collapsing and going something was definitely happening in the world...But this news magazine just contained hell lot about local politics and accidents and matrimonials!....So i turned myself to the TV were a comedy programme was being shown and thats how i spent the time until my turn came.....

He called me....plz sit on the chair...."awrite",i said....I sat in this chair which looked like the electric chairs we see in the movies....a head rest on the top and a provision to incline it too...The barber had a long hair at the centre and white at the sides....he knew his style i would say....I was in front of a mirror.....a table in front of me....on which there were scissors, knives, blades....i was like a client paying to get myself killed....i believe everyone has heard that terrorists are made to feel like Kings before they go and get themselves blown up....well the barber had something like this in his mind i guess.....From a wardrobe he took a velvet red felt so smooth on my neck....he tied the back of it behind my neck...tightening it....he could have finished me there...a nice tight strangle and it would have done the job...but he tied it just intact....he asked me..."What should i do to u today?"...i was like...(holy shit...hez gonna do it)....but i replied.."ahem..well...i need a football hairdo....small hair and nice style".....he had a glow in his eyes...guess he was thinking.."I am gonna give u one which u will remember for the rest of ur life......(if u are alive that is...Buhahahaha).....he took the scissors and a comb....started cutting chunks of felt like droplets of water falling on my shoulders except it was itching a bit.....he went from the the sides....i could hear the constant snapping of the scissors.....chuck chuck....i was scared when he was cutting the small mistake and i cud be without a ear...he trimmed that part and moved on to finer cutting....for which he needed smaller...Sharper....better scissors....and a smaller comb....he took that from a small box which he had....which contained all his weapons of mass destruction....he did some finer chops here and there and then went on to Stage 3 were he took a blade and stuck it into razor...and he waved the hand in such a way that i thought.........he asked me whether i wanted my side locks removed...."whatever SIR...please do it fast and quick"...i din want a slow death....he slided the blade along my skin....behind my ear...then the neck....he said .."its over"....did my heart stop beating....i looked into the mirror....i could see any red fluid blood...i was still intact........i paid him his money and i was raining.....stilll.....i was scared....i ran to my room....and then took a bath fast....and then finally looked into the mirror......THAT M****in azol had given me the crapiest haircut ever....

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

~When Time Runs Slow~

I felt a jolt on my shoulder,a pinch, and then some sprinkling of cold water on my face. I opened my eyes and saw Shetty saying something about an event, a race where i had to be in. I couldn open my still flowing in my blood after the final year party i had been to. I was in first year then. The introduction to seniors in such a way wasnt really an ideal occasion. So i woke up and uttered," dude wats the time ?" and he replied it was half past 10. I had to be there at the reporting stands in 10 minutes. So i brushed...put on my half sleeves and a bermuda which was lying in the laundry bag...what the hell anywayz!....Shetty cycled me to the ground...a hot day it was...burning the sand beneath my feet....and it was a day....a day to remember!

It was the sports day....not a sports meet...a day when there are classes and atheletes would have to cut them to participate in their events. Ballz to extracurriculars...thats my college policy. So i was standing there without having the slightest consciousness of what i was to do!

(timetravelling 3 days back...i remember hitting the fastest time for the 200 m race.....yeah...m an athelete...i run...sprint....its a joy!)

Spotting me a friend came and asked.."hey pai! why do u seem so dull" to which i narrated the whole drunken night story....Shockingly 'she' went and brought me some lime...assuming that would help me! While sipping it i could feel it run through my "food tube" (lol) and reach my stomach. I wasnt prepared....i din know how i could get through it. I heard the speakers bark itself out....200 m sprint...the finalists are..~~~~~~....please proceed to the starting point. It struck me....Fuck....what do i do! Borrowing a pair of boots i walked through the crowd to the starting point....warming up....jogging for a while...jumping...stretching my muscles were barely responding....I was screwed...i knew that....But there are times when the mental strenght can overcome the physical! Thats why brain cells are the strongest!....

The event in charge came and took out the lots....i had to pick one....dug my hand into the jar and looked into the folded piece of paper...lane 3...i told he instructed me to take my position....

So there i was stranded with 6 other people...each having their pathway to success....a 100 eyes staring at us....Who would be the best...who would beat the time....i took my postion...bend left leg tugged under my crotch and my right leg seemingly stretched...Its alwayz customary to keep the boosting leg in that one taught me this....well thats how its done in the olympics... :D ....I could smell my sweat....dropping from my forehead to my eyes...then my nose....and blowing it from my mouth...breathing hard....telling myself...i can do it...the wind clashing with my hair and body...i could feel it streamlining....All i saw was my track....nothing else...."Atheletes, on your mark"...i have to do it..."get set"...i will do it...."GO"...i bolted from my stand...adrenaline pumping....hands moving till my chest....legs thrusted to maximum capacity....I was maximum capacity to my legs...Run bitch run....covering 150 m of the track i checked my sides...i could see none...i looked straight...i saw shetty with his gleaming eyes...smiling....i still put my maximum....shit can never know....i streamed into the finish line...clocked a 22 second mark....i was the best...i won the was a victory!!!!


Monday, September 8, 2008

Who Am I????

Have u ever wondered where u are from? Or what your cultural history is? In this modern age we dont keep track of all this but let me tell u mine....How my people started off and where i am now and how my life has changed!
I am a part of a community called Gowd Saraswat Brahmins. They are from a race of Aryans who initially lived in the mountains of kashmir. But soon after they migrated from there to the banks of River Saraswat. The goddess of the river appeared before them and told them they could have the food from the flowing water ie. fish. That is how they were termed Gowd Saraswat brahmins owing their name to the river where they started their civilization! And that is how we started eating fish too :P . After the river dried they moved to the coasts of malabar and the Goan coast. After the portugese took over the Goan lands most of them where converted into christians but the language was retained...Konkani. Konkani has various dialects. People in the southern part of Kerala have a different style from the northen part. I am from the northern part....Kasargod which is the last district of Kerala. There are a number of people living in these areas....Kasargod, Ernakulam and so on. There are a lot of people from Karnataka too.

If u ask me where i am from i wouldnt have an answer because i was born in Kerala but brought up in other places. My father works in a bank so he often moves from places to places owing to transfers. As i have learnt from my parents, we were first settled in Kasargod when i was lil baby. Then we moved to Chandigarh where i did my nursery :D . After 2 years due to problems in chandigarh we had to move to Trivandrum where i did my UKG. My dad got promoted there and we were shifted to Bangalore. Now this was a prominent period in my life. Six years in one city. A city with different people from various nativities. Since we lived in an apartment i had a chance to mingle with a lot of people from different places. Tamilians, Kannadigas, Maharashtrians......all of em...and that is why i know a lot of languages. I studied in an ICSE school there, a tough curriculum to be in! hehe....but my English got better. I remember we were fined 5 rs for speaking in Kannada in school.LOL...What a punishment eh! Revenue generation i say! After a long period in bangalore my dad got promoted and we shifted to the cultural capital of Kerala...Thrissur. A beautiful place with amazing people. This is where i made the bond. My heart merged with the place. The poeple the serenity of the place consumed me! I made a lot of good friends here.....Chinmaya Vidyalaya where i studied....7th to 12th....a school that gave my more than what i could give back. A place which moulded my personality! And now i am in calicut....NITC!!!!! with a lot of friends and pals from thrissur and i still love being with them.
My vacations in college, though, are in Mumbai.....shining city of got transferred there. A hectic place to be in but being with friends makes the place beautiful!

This is my story of where i u tell me....if u ask me where i am from....what should i say??? You tell me!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The deserving Or The deprived

It was 11:00 in the clock on a wednesday night. I took my glass and asked my friend to pour a shot. It was not any night. It was one of the most exciting nights for us. A night after which we were entering a whole different world. We were going for a job hunt. People were going to test us. They without knowing us were going to judge us within a matter of minutes and decide our fate. Yeah! Placements!!! Me and my friends reached 2 days earlier to hang out and chit chat about what we did during the vacation and of course boozing and knocking ourselves out. Well i hate to say it but when people say that after a person drinks they get totally out of control i everytime want to object it. Not because booze is a very good thing but i just dont want them to get a wrong idea about its purpose. It makes people think, makes peoples mind clear and let them think deep about what is important to them. So with the placements coming we were a bit concerned abt reserved seats in companies for the Sc/st. I had to say even i wanted to know the reasons for all this. So everyone had theirs first shot and all were in a mood to talk. So the topic was put forth and everyone voiced their opinion. And it was a night when i understood a bit more about the world.
We have really good friends and even though some of them fell in that category they were ready to listen to us and clear our doubts. The first thing which we put forth was the statements of Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru in his letter about installation of IITs where he said that All students shall be considered equal and there shall be no reservations for any caste of any creed. But thats not the case now is it? Every precious institution has its reservations and keeps getting higher every year....When i had asked my parents about this they had told me that during the period of pre-independence some people were slapped to the ground not allowing them to get up at all-metaphorically. They were deprived of the right to develop. They were not allowed to do normal things a human has the right to. Or to ever voice their opinions. The generation now is doing the paschatapam or repenting on this by having their seats taken in the name of reservation. But my friends cleared my thoughts and doubts on it. Trust me when u have your notions on such a matter it is better to clear it before you become an anti social because you can get into big trouble!!!! What my friends said was that there are people who in the name of reservation keep exploited these benefits. But there actually are a group who are still downtrodden. Not because they are not smart or dont have the potential but because they lack the simple opportunities that we get in excess. They cant afford to have the facilities that any middle class can. Even they agree that reservations should be on the salary per annum basis for each family. If they deserve it they should get it else and not exploit it even when you can afford as much as a middle class can. I have seen the latter, my friend who inspite of being in that category opted for general because he was smart enough. I have seen people who want to bring their families in a good position. Me and my classmate C.Deepak share a nice relationship. We talk our hearts out. One day when he came and told me whether i knew he was SC. I was taken aback. We never put a tag on our friends do we? We dont judge them by their caste or religion do we?. I respected him for telling that but also felt bad. Yeah, we have come to a point where we dont differentitate between people. We dont want to know who is in which sect, which religion or anything of that sort but the narrow minded people in our country, f****in illiterates!!!! I enjoy christmas, diwali, id, holi. I think everyone does. So why do we always raise the issue of Reservation.

Well for a minute imagine yourself in their shoes. What would you do if you were locked in a cage and the key was thrown??? wouldnt you suffocate and want to get out??? Well with the narrow minded people in our world this is exactly where they are in- A locked box with the key thrown. But the government has managed to make a small window for them to breate. A window where opportunities and future is there. They too want to be free. They too want to see a country without any reservation, where everyone are equal and are free men! I think they deserve it. We should support them. May be not in the near future but atleast our future generations would get a chance to see it.

Its true what Russel Peters says in his comedy show...." Countries hate each others, indians hate among themselves". And hate to say it its true.FYI Russel peters is an Indian. Even though i laughed at it it was sooo true! Indians do hate each other. Envy, jealousy, greed...all of it has consumed us. We know we are smart people among the world but we hate to work. We are too lazy to get up and raise the log which builds our home. We dont want to do the dirty work of cleaning the disease of illiteracy. We want to sit in our f***in chair and watch the tv. Whats gonna happen to us, soon we will be the deprived!



I have a reason to believe that landing in this college was not just coincidence but well defined pathway to my destiny just like the movie final destination. Clearly i have no one to blame but myself because i had a choice, like everyone does, a choice to make a life, a life which i can learn from and enjoy and make the best use of it. But let me ask you a question- Have you ever made a choice were you dont know what you are gonna end in? Have you made a decision were you know that its not gonna do any good for you even when others want the opposite? Have you ever had so much regret in life that you have stopped hoping for anything ever???? Friends,relatives, girlfriends, boyfriends all have a role to play in this.

I had a choice of getting into a lot of good colleges. But i chose this not because it was the 14th rank tech college or anything but because i had a lot of friends and my love for this place called Gods own country. It feels comfortable to be among the ones you love doesnt it? But the amount of frustration and anger i feel now is way beyond what i would have ever thought of. I have spoiled my future, my life, my integrity with myself and my self respect. I know what or who i was before and what or who i am now! Clearly not the same.....Because once you look into a mirror you can spot the difference between the two. Betrayel, love, hate....if all this is confined in one package thats the box i was in after landing here. I have perpetually stopped expecting things from life or people because this world is more to the eye than wat you see. If you believe that you have seen everything in life its not so. Life is beautiful i have to agree but it comes to you in wierd ways. Small joys from movies, music, fun with friends are all in this wierd ways because you never realize you are happy until you are asked the question!

I havent really given a deep thought into what really is wrong but im inclined to believe that it all started with me opting for mechanical from which i expected a lot and got nothing. Its been my dream since childhood inspired by my uncle that being a mech engg would truly help me in life. A career i wanted to launch and the best sought after place in kerala...nitc...its not a bad place but being here just makes me wanna throw up. With the rising standards of education my college tried to bring out the best in students by f***ing them over for small reasons. A lot of my friends have lost a year thanks to their insensitive nature. I meant "their" because the college is not run by highly brilliant folks but by normal people who i believe rub their frustration on us. Being an average student i expected teachers to interact and teach me or us with a practical intuition. Leaving practical intuition they tell us to visualize. What should we visualize??? a slider motion, a digital circuit or a kickass algorithm ? dont these "intelligent" folks with a abcd degree from xyz college know that the way student learn varies from person to person? When i was in school i had a chance to listen to Swamini who told that there are 2 kinds of people...One who could learn by seeing things and the other who could learn by hearing. So when we listen to the prof in the class about an engine what do you think the people with the other ability would be thinking? a blank 0...i know that feeling. It makes me wanna sleep and do stuff in class which according to profs are disrespectful or signs of a bad student. I would like to say one thing..." plz dont judge me without knowing me...i don give a f*** about wat u think anyway"!!!! So beat me with a rod and i swear i wont keep quite!!! I know there are people like me, but in the name of struggle and hardwork they neglect what they really want in life. Im jus trying to ignite something here. Make yourself heard. Make yourself important. In this competitive world if you do not grab a chance you will lose. Stand with me. Lets make this world better.